Recovery
by SmurfLuvsCookies
Summary: It's easy to pretend Lisanna is where she belongs. But since that rainy afternoon a wandering man recovered her body from the mud, she remains caught between two dimensions, two families, two lifetimes.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:** What began as a head cannon one-shot, and then a follow-up chapter, has now become a full-fledged story. Enjoy._

 _Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima._

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

Sometimes, Bixlow just needed to get away from the chaos of the guild. He found the peace he craved when he took his solitary walks. It was only in the cool damp rain of these black woods that he could hear himself think. His babies followed behind him like little ducklings, silent and solemn, but he didn't mind having them around.

The guild didn't wait for him when it had to move. It couldn't. There was no time to waste when the authorities were on Fairy Tail's trail. So when Bixlow returned and peered into the clearing, he wasn't surprised to find only the smoky haze of the guild's teleportation mechanism and the grass trampled by Erza Knightwalker's scattered forces. In fact, he was rather pleased. The guild would find him eventually—Fried had long ago become so frustrated with Bixlow's disappearances that he'd written a tracking rune into his visor. This was an opportunity for more tranquility. His only real concern was avoiding Knightwalker's troops and greedy bounty hunters, but they were easier to dodge when he was alone, anyway. No brawls, no booze, no claustrophobic crush of hot bodies or whining chatter. Just the gentle patter of rain in a blue cave, a rabbit smoking on a spit, and the comforting whir of his babies flying around him.

Bixlow suddenly worried about his exposure in the clearing, and noticed the rain was getting harder, so he set off in search of shelter. He remained especially vigilant since the shivering leaves in the rain masked any other noises. Bixlow was confident of his ability to fight Knightwalker's first responders, but there was no telling who else he might run into. No need for recklessness. Evergreen was probably already fretting over his absence, urging Fried to track him and make sure he was safe. Bixlow often found her clucking maternity exhausting, but he could appreciate her concern.

Movement. Behind a branch, to his left. Bixow stiffened. Was this it? Was this the moment Knightwalker took him into custody, tortured him for information? Was this the bounty hunter who would finally finish him off, cut away the tattoo over his heart to get their reward?

There was a faint white glow behind the wet wood, a weak little soul flush to the ground. Bixlow crept forward, his babies poised to attack. It could be a trap.

It was a body. Prostrate around the branch, stained from head to toe in sticky black mud. Anyone else would have thought her dead, but Bixlow saw the life warming her chilly bones. He looked around suspiciously, but he could only see the glitter of rain. She was alone.

He stooped over the branch and took her into his arms. The mud was reluctant to let her go, and gave a deep sucking groan in protest. Bixlow scanned the perimeter once more before he headed down the incline, hugging the muddy girl to his chest.

The creek was flooded from the storms and gushing clear cold water. Bixlow set the girl down on the bank and pondered her. She didn't seem threatening. A shapely brown silhouette, delicate features smeared by the mud. He dragged her ankle-deep into the creek, carefully watching her face while he washed away the dirt from between her toes, her feet, her ankles, calves, behind her knees. Her skin was like pale milk under the lumpy film, pure and perfect. He paused when he got to the warm swell of her thighs. He didn't want her to think he was trying to take advantage of her if she woke up. He slid his hands under her armpits and hoisted her into the water, letting the current sweep most of the mud away. Once everything from her shoulders down was relatively clean, he lifted her onto the bank again and took off his shirt. He dipped it into the creek and wrung it out, then brought it close to her chin and gently wiped the dark grit away. The cloth revealed a cute nose, high forehead, pale cheeks flushed from the cold friction of the bath. Bixlow lingered around her generous mouth, drawn to its sloping frown. His thumb unwittingly pulled her lip aside and parted her teeth to check the small red tongue. Her breath stung on his palm.

He cleansed her hair with the shirt, bleaching the color out of its short silver strands. After he finished she laid on the mossy green bank like a frozen fallen angel, still splattered with the earthly soil. Bixlow stared hard at her fluttering eyelids, willing them to open. He knew her eyes would be blue, like the sky he always yearned to see.

Bixlow felt it before she regained consciousness, saw the light in her body flare before that blue blinked in and out of existence. She looked around until her gaze rested on his still form sitting beside her. She pulled herself onto her elbows, a bit bewildered, wiping the water from her skin and hair. Bixlow probably should have moved them someplace dry, but he was too shocked to think. She blinked at him again, squinting through the mist and the rush of the creek that had suddenly become so much louder, a roaring in Bixlow's ears.

"Bix…low?" she said slowly, uncertainly.

Just as slowly and uncertainly, he nodded.

"What…where are we? What are you doing here?" she sat up all the way, running a hand through her dirty damp hair, causing it to stick up in all directions. Bixlow wanted to smooth it down again, to finish rinsing it out with his shirt, to watch beautiful white ringlets curl in the heat of a fire and reflect the orange glow of the flame. He didn't want to talk to her at all. He just wanted to wipe the confusion from that ghost face and fly around in her blue sky eyes.

Instead, his voice projected from the babies, causing her to jump. "We're in the woods, waiting on the guild to find us. Fried's got a tracking rune on my visor, remember? I went off on one of my walks and they had to jet without me," he explained through their childish murmurs.

"Jet? Tracking rune? What are you talking about?"

Bixlow ignored her. He couldn't resist reaching out and stopping her dirt-clumped hand from once more tugging at her hair. The hand was small, but warm and solid in his own. Slippery under the mud. "Are you real?" he asked though the babies. "You're supposed to be dead."

Lisanna reeled, her blue eyes wide. She snatched her hand away. "I don't know you all that well, but that wouldn't be a funny joke even if I did!" she snapped.

Bixlow winced. No one knew him all that well, it was true, but before Lisanna had disappeared those years ago, he'd thought they had a certain comradery. She understood his need for solitude better than most, often had quiet niches waiting for him when he returned from a walk, a watery ale waiting on a corner table. The way she looked at him now, she could have been addressing a complete stranger.

"Talk to me," she demanded. "Where are Mira and Elfman?"

"Sorry," the babies cooed for him. "They'll be back soon. I told you, the guild had to flee. Knightwalker's forces must have gotten too close." He stood up and offered her a hand. "Come with me, we'll find shelter. We're too exposed out here, and it's wet."

Lisanna returned nothing but a blank stare. "What is a Knightwalker? And what do you mean, the guild had to flee? You're talking gibberish."

Bixlow's hand fell to his side. "You're not really Lisanna, are you?"

"Of course, I'm Lisanna!" the girl pulled herself out of the mud and placed her hands on her hips, giving him an angry scowl. "How do I know you're really Bixlow? You haven't said a word, and you don't exactly have a reputation for being quiet. You could be anyone in a visor, couldn't you? I hardly see you—I hardly know who you are!"

The girl was becoming hysterical. She finally sensed that something was wrong. Bixlow put his hands on her shaking shoulders to calm her down, stooped close to her sobbing face. Carefully he stepped beside her and put an arm around her shoulders, guiding her away from the loud scream of the creek. She stumbled along with him, her feet getting stuck in the soft mud.

"I don't know what you remember," the babies explained along the way. "But we're part of the dark guild Fairy Tail. We're the last guild in Edolas. Erza Knightwalker is looking for us because Edolas is running out of magic…"

Lisanna listened silently as Bixlow told her what she needed to know, everything he could think of. They found a small hollow away from the creek, dry enough and big enough to make a tiny ember. Lisanna stared at it while he rambled on. Bixlow hadn't ever said so much, but for once he was worried about what the silence might bring. The rain had stopped by the time he ran out of things to say. It was getting dark. The light from the coals was a risk, but Bixlow knew Lisanna needed it.

Tears glinted from her cheek. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. "I'm not from Edolas, Bixlow," Lisanna croaked. "I'm from a country called Fiore. It's not anything like what you're telling me, but the people all have the same name. You're saying…you're saying I'm dead here? The Lisanna from Edolas is dead?"

"Yes," Bixlow confirmed. "Knightwalker arrested her. The government was working on a way to extract magic, and they used her as an experiment. From what I know, she was killed in the process, but we never saw a body. Mirajane and Elfman have always held hope that you—that she—is alive."

Lisanna hugged her knees to her chest. "You're so different from the Bixlow in Fiore. He's a real jerk. Super loud and obnoxious, always does this smile where he sticks his tongue out. He's part of the Raijinshuu—do you have that? They don't like the rest of us very much."

"Yes, I'm part of the Raijinshuu, but we get along just fine with the rest of the guild," Bixlow said. "Laxus is rather weak, so it's up to us to protect him. He's a good person. Sometimes all the noise gets to me though, and I like to go on walks."

"Yeah, you don't really say much, do you?" Lisanna laughed.

Bixlow looked at her for a long time. Then he hesitantly opened his mouth.

Lisanna gasped, horrified. Bixlow's tongue was gone, a scarred swollen stub at the front of his throat. His jaw snapped shut quickly and he looked away, ashamed. He never knew how to explain. "I don't talk because I can't talk," the babies muttered for him. "At least not with my own voice."

"What happened? Knightwalker again?"

"No. Bounty hunters. They get their reward whether mages are alive or dead, but if dead they have to provide proof. The best way to do that is to bring the guild insignia."

"Oh my…your tattoo," Lisanna realized. "Your tattoo in Fiore is on your tongue."

Bixlow nodded. "They ambushed me when I was on a walk, knocked me unconscious. Thought they'd taken me out. I woke up when it was over. I probably would have died if Fried hadn't done the rune on my visor." He lifted the hem of his shirt to reveal his chest, and the new tattoo placed over his heart. "I'm not going through that again," he declared. "If they catch me, they really will have to kill me."

"That's horrible," Lisanna cried. "Bixlow, I'm so sorry."

"It's comforting to know there's a version of me out there who is putting his tongue to good use," Bixlow responded with a wry, close-lipped smile. He pressed his hand to the side of her hair, smoothing it down. It didn't curl in the ringlets he imagined, but the girl still glowed with a vitality that outshone the fire. "We'll get you home, Lisanna. I swear it."

Just then, there was a wicked flash of violet light and a cracking, clanking sound. Bixlow's fingers brushed past her wet cheek. "It's Fairy Tail," he said warily. He stood up and emerged from the hollow just as Evergreen burst from the doors of the guild.

"Bixlow!" she exclaimed, clutching the relief to her chest. "Thank goodness we found you!"

"Yes, a second longer and he may have been lost to us forever and ever," Fried drawled, throwing himself against the frame, arms crossed over his chest. "Really, Bixlow, this is just getting ridiculous. Do you know how much magic we waste looking for—?"

Fried stopped and his eyes focused behind Bixlow. He turned and saw that Lisanna had also crept out from the hollow, amazed as she took in the weird characters in front of her. Fried flicked his eyes to Bixlow, and then back to Lisanna. Evergreen's face had gone ghostly pale.

"Is that…?"

"Did you find him?" The floating beautiful silhouette of Mirajane materialized behind them, tugging anxiously at her long white locks. Her blue eyes settled on Bixlow, and then zoomed right past him to the stone-still statue of her sister. The devastation that crossed her face was painful to behold. She crumpled to the ground like a wilted flower, never taking her eyes off of Lisanna. Her eyes filled with tears, her lips came up in the most heartbreaking smile Bixlow had ever seen. Though her fingers reached out, it was her voice that pulled the mysterious imposter closer to her.

"Lisanna…"

The girl looked at Bixlow, and he saw in her eyes an unwillingness to break Mirajane's heart, a refusal to kill her hope, to plunge her back into the suspended darkness of mourning. He knew what she would do next, and a part of him welcomed it, because he, too, had missed watching her white head bob among the masses like the North Star. He missed the watery ale waiting for him in those lonely, quiet corners. It was selfish of him to want her to stay, but he was a selfish man. All he could do was enable her decision. So he nodded.

Lisanna's eyes filled with tears. She looked back to Mirajane, her new sister, and walked toward her with her arms spread open wide. Renouncing her home, renouncing her life. Forgetting herself and emerging from the water, anew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Lisanna didn't always know what to make of Fairy Tail, now that she had returned.

In Edolas, the fast-paced nomadic lifestyle facilitated her adjustment to her new guild mates. Edo-Fairy Tail was a well-oiled machine, and they didn't have time to dawdle around with her. They were patient, gave her as much support as they could, helped her with her convenient bouts of amnesia from Knightwalker's experiments, but at the end of the day Lisanna had to learn how to keep up with them to survive. It didn't take long for her to get used to her new family, as different as they were from her real one.

It was hard to leave them, harder than Lisanna could have imagined. In two years she had grown to love her Edolas guild with surprising ferocity. She never stopped mourning the loss of her real family, of course, but her siblings' alter-egos soothed the ache. Lisanna always fantasized about returning home, but after the first year it became less and less realistic. She worried about hurting her Edolas family should she get the opportunity to leave. If Edo-Mira had begged her to stay, could she have really left her there on her knees?

Lisanna wasn't sure.

It didn't matter now. She was home. Edo-Mira had known all along, in spite of Lisanna's attempts to act the part. She supposed family always knew.

The second adjustment didn't go as smoothly as Lisanna thought it might. She had missed a lot in two years, and she had grown accustomed to an entirely different way of life, with entirely different people wearing the same faces. In Fiore, Levy and Lucy were friends. Gajeel was gruff and grumpy. Gray stripped and Juvia was the fixated one. Though her world had turned right-side-up, it felt like up-side-down. Sometimes she compared the two guilds and she caught herself missing Edolas. Lisanna was sure her siblings would understand, and perhaps they even suspected, but it made her feel so guilty and terrible that she hadn't told a soul.

"Hey! Barmaid's sister!"

Lisanna jumped at the voice, loud in her ear. It wasn't a voice she could ever remember hearing in Edolas, but the chittering of the little wooden tiki dolls as they zoomed around the bar was comfortably familiar.

Still, she placed her hands on her hips and frowned. "I have a name."

Bixlow gave her a flat look from behind his visor. Out of everyone, he was probably the most different from his Edolas counterpart. Lisanna hardly knew Bixlow before the Anima sucked her up, but she had grown fond of Edo-Bixlow and his quiet, intense companionship. Though he'd suffered from a severe case of introversion and wanderlust, he was kind, patient, and insightful. He had helped Lisanna tremendously during her adjustment, secretly teaching her Edolas's history, sending the babies to whisper answers in her ear when she seemed stuck. Just thinking of him now sent a pang through her chest. It seemed like an insult that this thunderous, perverted, obnoxious man was allowed to wear his face in Fiore. Edo-Bixlow would have loathed the brash ways of his alter-ego.

"You're also the barmaid's sister," Bixlow pointed out. "Although I guess in this case, you're just the barmaid. Mira never woulda made me a drink this bad."

"What are you talking about? It's what you always—" Then Lisanna realized she had watered down the drink out of habit when Mirajane said it was for Bixlow. In Edolas, he had preferred watered-down ale. Revelry and drunkenness had made him uncomfortable, and he'd always wanted to keep his wits about him, in case they had to move.

Not that sobriety had helped him, in the end.

Lisanna was once again jarred from her thoughts by the man sitting across from her. He was saying her name. He'd asked her a question. What question?

"Hey," he said again, lopsided grin turned down into a long frown. "You alright, kid?"

"I'm fine," she replied, letting the lie gush out in one big breath. She pushed her thoughts away and took the watery ale from his outstretched hand. "I'm sorry, this was my bad. I'll make you a new drink."

Lisanna could feel his eyes from behind those slits in the visor, watching her motions as she dumped the old ale and replenished the supply. Edo-Bixlow had watched too, watched everyone from his corner like a benevolent sentinel, passive and steady. Once he had told her that he watched her the most often because she was never still, and because she always had a blazing smile or the saddest eyes in the guild. This Bixlow hadn't ever given her a second glance, but now she was caught under his narrowed gleaming gaze. There was nothing docile in his stare—it was nearly predatory, stalking her heart until it raced. She could feel it thumping in her chest, like it was trying to escape the arrest of his eyes. When Lisanna turned around, she felt like every thought was written on her face in a language only he could read, and he was devouring every letter.

"Here you go," she said. She almost dropped his tankard when she tried to hand it to him. Luckily, he caught it before any beer could spill.

"Thanks," he said wryly. Lisanna could hear the raised eyebrow in his voice, but he didn't press her about her strange behavior. He took a swig of beer and nodded. "Much better."

"Good," Lisanna said, turning. If she ignored him, maybe he would go back to his table and start another brawl or something. His attention was grating her on nerves, rubbing raw the cocoon of her hidden thoughts to reveal her little turmoil underneath. The truth had never hit her so hard, so suddenly, so much that she felt like she might scream it at him if he appeared in front of her again like the grotesque ghost he was.

Lisanna would never speak of those deaths she witnessed in the war, of those friends she lost to the fight—those faces she encountered now every day, with different people wearing them. It seemed taboo to tell a living ghost about their death in a parallel universe, but sometimes she worried that she was losing the memories that kept them alive in her heart. Sometimes it was just too much when she saw them walking around, acting so strange, living and breathing in a dead man's body.

Bixlow especially. There was nothing of Edo-Bixlow in this Bixlow. Edo-Bixlow, that friend who found her in the mud and dusted her off, who was there for her until the very end, was lost to her forever. Sometimes she wished she could have gone back and done the same for him, picked him up out of that hole they'd found him in and cleaned him in the creek. But not even the cold shock of the rushing water could have restarted his missing heart.

Sometimes, she wished the Bixlows had been switched.

And she hated herself for thinking it.

He was still watching her.

"Stop staring at me," she snapped, pulling herself together. Now was not the time to unravel, not in front of this intimidating creature, not when she had spent months pretending to be okay for people who mattered so much more to her than he did.

"You got some flour on your face," he responded, tapping his chin.

Lisanna frowned and rubbed the spot he indicated with the back of her wrist, but he shook his head as she struggled to find the fine white powder. He stood up and took her chin in his hand, licking the pad of his thumb before he rubbed the flour away from under the curve of her jaw. "Got it," he declared, grabbing his tankard. "It was buggin' me."

Lisanna was speechless as he left, immersing himself back into the throng of the guild. She pressed her fingertips to the spot under her chin. She remembered the same hands rubbing mud away from her skin in the clear cold of a creek, the slippery grip as he kept her from spreading the dirt around in her damp hair. At the time she'd considered it a strange neurosis on his part, but she'd grown to think of that sloppy bath as a baptism into her new life.

She pulled her hand away from her neck and looked down at her palm. This was certainly no baptism, but it felt significant. Bixlow had wiped some of her anxiety away along with the flour. She didn't feel so alienated anymore, so bewildered and confused. Something inside of her had temporarily settled down.

Lisanna closed her hand into a fist as a tear plopped down on it. She looked up at Bixlow, who was boisterously antagonizing poor red Fried, and thought to herself that maybe he wasn't as horrible as she had made him out to be. He didn't deserve the resentment she'd offered him. And Edo-Bixlow, no matter how much he probably would have disliked his alter-ego, wouldn't have condoned it either. It was a disservice to his memory to hold such a grudge against someone she didn't know. This Bixlow was certainly different from the Bixlow she'd grown to know and love, and who she had lost so tragically, but perhaps he was not as different as she had suspected.

Perhaps, given time, she could grow to love this Bixlow, too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Lisanna took a deep breath of the ocean air. It had been too long since the guild stopped to hide under these jagged cliffs. They couldn't return to one place too frequently, otherwise Erza Knightwalker or her unofficial brigade of bounty hunters would stake the place out. The beach was Lisanna's favorite hideout, and much of Fairy Tail shared the sentiment. The endless horizon across the vast blue water was the only thing that could make them feel truly free.

Bixlow reclined on the rocks beside her. Fried, Evergreen, and Laxus were keeping watch somewhere on the cliff above them. Lisanna wasn't on duty, but she was having trouble sleeping, so she'd ventured out to enjoy Bixlow's company. The giant green building creaked and groaned behind them, settling in to its new temporary home.

The guild hall was emptier than when Lisanna had first arrived. It was part of the reason for her insomnia. Bixlow had tried to impress upon her the ferocity of Fairy Tail's war with Knightwalker and her forces, but nothing could have prepared Lisanna for the carnage of the struggle. Knightwalker had the government on her side, she had endless resources, and a staunch determination that Lisanna had once found so admirable in the Erza she knew in Fiore. Within less than two years, Fairy Tail had lost a quarter of the comrades they'd had left. Lisanna heard about most of the deaths and disappearances from behind the bar, but some of them she'd witnessed firsthand in the flurry of evasion. She would never forget the broken body of adolescent Romeo, who had never even used magic, or Macao's long, mournful wail has he held what remained of his only son in his arms.

Lisanna often wondered about the friends and family she had left behind in Fiore. Obviously their fate did not correlate with that of their Edolas counterparts—otherwise she would have died years ago, well before she had mastered her magic and gone on the mission that sent her here. Yet each casualty ignited a new bout of worry, in spite of the fact that she was probably in more danger than they were.

Early on, she and Bixlow had talked a lot about how she had crossed universes, but without a library it was all just speculation. Nearly two years later they hardly mentioned her life in Fiore. Bixlow swore once that he would get her back home, but they both knew it was a pipe dream. Edolas was her home now, and this shrinking fugitive guild was her family. Thinking about the life she had left behind only made her sad.

Lisanna took another deep breath of the salty air. A wave crashed onto the rocks, dusting them with chilly sea spray. Bixlow edged back to avoid it, but Lisanna stretched out her legs and let ocean spray hit her bare feet.

"Do you remember the day you found me?" she asked him.

"Of course," Bixlow's tiki dolls answered in unison.

"Do you remember the area? The tree near the creek?"

"Yes, it was the East Forest, I believe. It's a big area so we hide there a lot, but I could probably figure out the approximate location once I found the creek. Why?"

"Next time we're there we should try to find it," Lisanna suggested. "I know it's been two years, and I don't have much hope of going back home, but it would be nice to get some answers, don't you think? A good place to start would be where I landed."

Bixlow was quiet for a long time. Finally, he stood up abruptly and dusted himself off. "You're right, that would be a good place for clues. Next time we go to the East Forest, we'll make an excuse to track it down."

Lisanna watched, bewildered, as he started to walk away. She had never seen this temperate Bixlow so agitated. He had certainly never walked away from her in the middle of a conversation. "Is everything okay?" she asked. "Did I say something wrong?"

Even though his face was mostly hidden behind the metal visor, Lisanna could tell from his grinding teeth that Bixlow was waging a war with himself. She sat patiently as he began to pace in small steps, the tiki dolls spinning around him. After a few minutes he stopped, squared his shoulders, and turned to her with resolve.

"Lisanna, before we go into this, I just want you to know that I—"

Bixlow was interrupted by a boom from the top of the cliff. They looked up and saw a bright flash of light, then Fried's silhouette. "They found us! Wake everyone up!"

Lisanna scrambled off of the rock and ran with Bixlow to the guild, where someone had already heard the noise and turned on the lights. Lucy Ashley pulled the door open for them with a furious scowl. "Those bastards, can't even let us get one night of peace!" she complained.

"They're attacking from above," Bixlow's babies reported.

"Right," said Lucy. She turned to Alzack, who was rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "I need my sharpshooters up and ready to back up the Raijinshuu while Shadow Gear gets this thing moving. Levy, move your ass, will you?!"

"Take your own advice, Ashley," Levy snarled, tying her unruly blue hair up in a bandanna. She knocked Jet and Droy on the head, effectively interrupting their heavy sleep.

"What was that, pipsqueak, I didn't quite hear you?"

"I said you have a fat ass!"

Lucy looked livid, but Alzack had stirred Bisca awake and the sharpshooting duo were ready for instructions. There was another boom from above, and Lisanna could hear the thud of gravel hitting the roof. Levy hauled her team up from their cots and half dragged them to the transportation controls. Lucy nodded and turned to the sharpshooters. "You two, climb up to the roof and shoot anyone who pops up over the cliff that isn't Raijinshuu."

"Right," they said, ducking out the door. Bixlow turned to follow them, but Lisanna grabbed his arm. Another boom nearly knocked them to the ground. Lucy howled, "They're getting closer! Everyone, defensive positions!"

Lisanna was overwhelmed as everyone stood up and began running and shouting, preparing the guild hall for battle. The gears from the controls screeched as they began to grind and the floor shifted under her feet, which were still wet from the ocean spray. "Bixlow," she cried, "what were you going to tell me?"

"I have to go help Laxus and the others," Bixlow's babies replied. He gently shook off her grip and followed the sharpshooters out the door. Lisanna watched him go, realizing that she didn't really care what he'd meant to tell her, though it had clearly been important—she'd just wanted him to stay in the relative safety of the guild.

Another earth-shattering boom erupted from above. Lucy pushed Lisanna aside and closed the door just as the guild heaved itself off the ground and began to move. The most powerful of the guild were stationed at the windows, anticipating the offense of Knightwalker's forces. Lucy remained at the door, ready to hoist the Raijinshuu inside, while Lisanna braced herself against the wall. Her magic didn't work in Edolas. She was useless.

"Liftoff!" Levy declared, pulling back a lever. The guild lurched again, this time at a gut-wrenching speed. Lisanna watched the cliffs sail by through the windows, and when they reached the plateau she saw four figures bunched together behind a rune shield, trying to defend themselves and the guild against an army of at least two hundred. Even from this distance, Lisanna could make out the blood red mane of Erza Knightwalker spearheading the front lines, throwing everything she had at Fried's defenses.

Lisanna watched with horror as the shields came down.

There was no way they would get to the Raijinshuu before Knightwalker's forces closed in, but from the roof Alzack and Bisca were doing their part. Soldiers began falling one by one. A giant ball of fire burst in front of the Raijinshuu, separating them from Knightwalker. Shadow Gear worked feverishly at the controls and the guild zipped toward the center of the chaos. Lucy flung the door open and nearly fell out. Lisanna stumbled forward and caught her around the waist, keeping her feet locked on the door frame as the guild tilted to an almost ninety degree angle. "Grab them!" she screamed.

Lucy grit her teeth as she clutched the fabric of Fried's red coat. The rune mage was unconscious, probably having exhausted his strength trying to maintain the shield around the guild. Evergreen helped support some of his dead weight and threw herself into the guild after him, clutching her side. Lisanna noticed blood spotting Evergreen's dress.

Bixlow barreled in after her with his tiki dolls, knocking Lucy and Lisanna out of the way. He slammed the door behind him. "Move!" the babies screeched with uncharacteristic authority.

"What are you talking about?! What about Laxus?!" Lucy cried.

Only then did Lisanna realize that Evergreen was sobbing uncontrollably next to Fried. Alzack and Bisca had emerged from the trap door in the ceiling, looking pale as they eased themselves down the ladder. Bixlow didn't say anything.

In spite of her injury, Evergreen launched herself at the door with surprising speed, but Bixlow caught her. "We have to go back!" she shrieked, pounding and scratching at every part of him she could reach. "We can't just leave him there!"

The guild groaned in agony, and another boom knocked everyone off their feet. "We have to move!" Levy shouted, but she looked around for confirmation.

"Go," Alzack told her. Bisca covered her face with her hands.

Shadow Gear got to work, pumping levers and spinning wheels with an urgency Lisanna hadn't seen in a long time. The guild quaked and shivered all around them. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as the lacrima activated, and magic teleported the guild across space. They landed in black quiet with one loud thump. Tears were streaming down Levy's face as her hands moved methodically along the mechanism, slowly lowering the guild to the ground. Jet and Droy watched her work, dazed. Evergreen had collapsed in Bixlow's arms and was bawling hysterically on his shoulder.

"Laxus was gone," Alzack told everyone, though he looked only at Lucy, who had assumed unofficial command several weeks ago with the death of the last master. "Knightwalker killed him just as the shield fell. I don't know if Fried even saw it. We would have died trying to retrieve his body."

But none of them liked leaving the body behind.

"Damn her!" Evergreen moaned, pushing herself away from Bixlow's embrace. "Laxus had never h-hurt a fly! He was the kindest person I've ever met, sh-she—she killed him for no reason! He wasn't even fighting back!"

A hand rested on Lisanna's shoulder, and she looked up to see her siblings on either side of her. Mirajane had been close to Laxus—tears streamed silently down her face. Elfman looked like he wanted to comfort Evergreen, but he didn't know what to do. Lisanna watched Bixlow. He was stoic, expressionless, but his tiki dolls were scattered around him on the floor.

Lucy was the first to break the silence. "We need to set up a perimeter," she said softly.

Macao, Wakaba, and Cana volunteered. People began to move, straightening up around the bar, fixing the broken windows and dishes, putting away the cots. There would be no more sleeping tonight.

Mirajane took Lisanna into her arms and held her close. Elfman did the same. Lisanna let herself melt into their embrace, thankful to have them, even if they weren't her real siblings.

After a while, they separated. Lisanna glanced over her shoulder again, anxious to help Bixlow however she could, but all she saw was Evergreen assisting Fried as he came to. She scanned the inside of the guild but couldn't find his full dark figure or spot the circling tiki dolls. Evergreen was breaking the news to Fried, who dissolved into tears and allowed his teammate to hold him in her maternal embrace. They had loved sweet and gentle Laxus so dearly.

So why wasn't Bixlow mourning with them?

Lisanna could only come to one conclusion. He had left on one of his exertions to get away from it all. Bixlow knew how to get past a perimeter, he had done it time and time again. No doubt Cana, Macao, and Wakaba hadn't even seen him go. Bixlow was trying to escape the death of his best friend, the man who had represented to him and the rest of the Raijinshuu all the good that was left in the world, who he had loved so much he vowed in a not-so-secret pact to protect with his last breath. And he had failed.

Bixlow may not have even been aware he was leaving the guild behind until he was gone. He would have stayed with his team had he thought about it, so that at the very least they wouldn't worry about him. Even now Lisanna watched as they put the pieces together. Fried grew red in the face with fury.

"That fucking bastard!" he snarled, slamming a fist onto the ground. "He fucking left at a time like this! He just got up and fucking left?"

There was no question. Bixlow had left.

Lisanna only wondered when he would come home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Lisanna smirked when she noticed Laxus hunkered down near the corner of the bar. He was trying to seem as nondescript as possible, short of hiding under the counter top, but with his mean look and bright shock of yellow hair it was a sorry effort. Feeling a bit sympathetic, she asked her sister for a beer and brought it over to him.

"I see you've finally escaped," she whispered, handing him the drink.

Laxus took it with grumpy appreciation, letting his icy blue eyes roam the guild hall suspiciously. He took a deep swig before he answered, "For now, anyway. Those three have been riding my ass since I got back."

Lisanna chuckled knowingly. Master Makarov had repealed Laxus's exile only two weeks ago, and the guild was still adjusting to having him around. Laxus and his team weren't very present before Lisanna's time in Edolas, and from what she understood that distance only increased while she was gone, coming to a head at Laxus's attempted coup d'état during the Fantasia Parade. His exile had apparently done him good. He had come back in Fairy Tail's time of need, and as a result his grandfather decided to give him the second chance he deserved.

Though he hadn't been gone for very long, it was the change in Laxus that the guild was getting used to. Conversations between Laxus and guild members could get awkward. They hassled him about what he did while he was away, what made him change so much, where he went and how he survived. Laxus didn't know how to handle it, so sometimes he lashed out and had to apologize later.

Lisanna could relate.

The Raijinshuu were clearly becoming a particularly large thorn in Laxus's side. His team was ecstatic to have him back. They had practically clung to him during the first few days. Now they never let him out of their sight, as though afraid of losing him again. It reminded Lisanna of the way her own siblings reacted after her return, evaluating her every move, always keeping her too close, trying to make up two years in two days. Anyone would crack under that sort of pressure.

"It's coming from a good place," she assured him. "Give them a few more days and they'll chill out. They're just excited to have you back. We all are."

"I'm glad to be back," Laxus replied. "Guess I shouldn't complain too much. You're right, they'll get over me eventually and everything'll be back to normal."

Lisanna wished that for him.

He finished his beer with one final chug, then set the tankard down. "You know," he continued, "it's still pretty weird to me that you were here when I got back."

Lisanna contained a laugh. She often thought the same thing about him, and about many of her other guild mates, but naturally those were thoughts she kept to herself. Laxus was a stressful case for her. She was able to track down all of the dead faces within the first week of her return, except, of course, for his. With each recognition she breathed a sigh of relief, but Laxus remained a small worm of worry in her brain. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to ask about him. She was afraid of the answer.

Bixlow was the one who inadvertently broke the news to her. It was on Laxus's birthday. The Raijinshuu were drinking for him, and by noon Evergreen was passed out and even the famously straight-laced Fried was stumbling around. Bixlow was boisterously drunk, which wasn't unusual. "Another!" he roared, raising his glass high in the air. "Another beer for Laxus, barmaid!"

"I'm the barmaid's sister, remember?" Lisanna drawled. She'd made the poor decision of sitting nearby; she wasn't even covering for Mirajane, who swished over and refilled his cup.

"Whatever, jus' someone fill me up!"

"There you go, Bixlow," Mira said, passing him the new drink. She shook her head in awe when Bixlow tipped his head back and drank. "I know you guys said you were going to drink to Laxus on his birthday, but I had no idea you'd take it so far. Your consumption is going to rival Cana's if you're not careful."

"Jus' wait," Bixlow slurred, quite literally too drunk to stand, "this is nothin'. When Laxus gets back from exile, we're gonna throw the biggest, baddest, craziest party this town's ever seen."

"Laxus is in exile?" Lisanna cried.

They turned to her, confused. "Of course, you weren't here," Mirajane frowned. She launched into the story of Laxus's Fantasia Parade attack and the subsequent exile, leaving Lisanna speechless and so relieved that she almost fainted. Until that moment, she hadn't realized how much anxiety she'd kept bottled up about his absence. Laxus was gone, yes, but not dead. He had just made a dreadful mistake.

"So that's where he's been," Lisanna sighed after Mirajane finished the recount.

"'Course," Bixlow hiccupped. "Where'd you think he was?"

The panic surged up in her, and Lisanna struggled to think of a response. She couldn't very well tell them that she'd been recovering the dead for the past few weeks. So she stuttered, "W-well, I just assumed he was on a long mission, that's all."

"Without us?" Bixlow scoffed, gesturing to himself and his unconscious team. Lisanna pressed her lips together to keep the helplessness inside. Bixlow had caught her in a lie, and now she would have to tell him how the Laxus in Edolas had died under his watch, how he had left his best friends at the pinnacle of their grief, how it had taken so long to find him that even Fried and Evergreen had almost given up. That would open up the floor to more questions—"What about me in Edolas? Did I make it?" It was a can of worms that Lisanna wasn't ready to touch.

Luckily, Bixlow didn't press her. He shrugged and finished his drink. "Not very observant, this one. Barmaid, another!"

Now, she sat in the same spot and rested her chin on her hand. "Sometimes it's weird to be back," she admitted. Of everyone, Laxus would understand.

"Oh, shit," he blurted out, trying to hide behind her. "They spotted me."

Lisanna turned her head and saw the Raijinshuu making a beeline toward them. "If you go, I'll make an excuse for you," she offered, but Laxus had already disappeared.

"Where did Laxus head off to in such a hurry?" Fried asked when he neared her, frowning at the crowd. For such a big man, Laxus could scamper away pretty quickly. Lisanna was impressed.

"Master needed him for a meeting," she fibbed. "He realized that he was late."

"Damn," Evergreen huffed. "We haven't seen him all day."

"Come on, let's go wait for him by the stairs," Fried suggested.

"You two go on, I'm gonna get a drink," said Bixlow, plopping himself on to the bar stool next to Lisanna. Fried shrugged and left with Evergreen to wait for Laxus. Lisanna wondered if he would be angry with her when he realized Master Makarov had never called Laxus for a meeting.

"You have a tell," Bixlow said as he raised his hand for Mirajane.

"What?"

"Your feet. You tap your foot when you're lying."

Lisanna instinctively looked down at her feet, which were resting on the support rod of the bar stool. She didn't say anything until her sister finished gossiping with Bixlow, who cheerfully pretended he hadn't even acknowledged her. When Mira left to refill another drink, he turned to her again with an expectant smirk.

"I do not tap my feet when I lie," Lisanna objected.

"No, you tap a _foot_ ," said Bixlow.

"How would you know? I've never lied to you."

Bixlow snorted and took a drink. The argument sounded weak even to Lisanna. She kept careful attention on her feet, but they didn't move. "You're focusing way too hard," Bixlow said. "Now you're even more obvious."

"Look, I'm not telling you where Laxus went," Lisanna snapped. "Mostly because I don't know. He just got up and left when he saw you."

To her surprise, Bixlow looked hurt. It only lasted a second, but it was enough for Lisanna to feel sorry as soon as the words left her mouth. "That's not what I meant," she backtracked, but Bixlow held up a hand.

"Don't explain, you just told it like it was."

"Laxus is feeling overwhelmed, that's all. He's been traveling alone, you know, and it's hard for him to adjust—"

"I don't need you to tell me about Laxus," Bixlow growled. Lisanna pressed her lips together to keep from retorting, and looked down at her lap. She had already meddled too much, she didn't need to make the situation any worse for Laxus and his team by getting into it with Bixlow.

After a while, Bixlow sighed. "You're probably right, though. We've been fuckin' needy since he got back, haven't we?"

"It's understandable," Lisanna offered. "You missed him."

"You probably got sick of everyone, too, didn't you? Hell, it was probably worse for you, bein' dead for two years."

Lisanna shrugged.

"Not gonna talk, huh?" Bixlow said with a smirk. "'Fraid I'll blackmail you?"

"No. It's just not easy to talk about." Lisanna stood up. "Give Laxus some time and maybe some space. He'll adjust to everything soon enough."

"How about you?" Bixlow asked.

For the second time that day, Lisanna was baffled and disconcerted by his insight. The eyes behind that metal visor didn't miss much. In that moment, she had the feeling that he was the only one in the entire guild who could see the pain she was hiding when she talked about Edolas. He saw it, and he still wanted her to talk about it.

That pissed her off.

Lisanna walked away without answering. She knew her feet were still acting as her tell, but he'd called her bluffs too many times today for it to matter. It wasn't his concern, anyway. Lisanna didn't owe anything to this Bixlow.

But when she stepped outside and noticed Laxus sitting on a bench, she kept the door open so that Bixlow could see him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It was nearly a month before anyone in Fairy Tail saw Bixlow again.

Lisanna knew it was for the best to leave Bixlow alone, but she was worried about him grieving by himself in the wilderness. His defenses would be down, and there was no telling who was out there looking for a dark mage to bring back to Knightwalker. He might even be purposefully reckless in his despair, although Lisanna thought that behavior suited the reputation of Fiore's Bixlow more so than her quiet, steady friend in Edolas.

Fairy Tail stayed in the isolated forest after the attack for a few days before Lucy Ashley became suspicious of Knightwalker's reconnaissance. When she asked Fried to track Bixlow down so they could move on, he refused. "That bastard can rot in the woods for all I care," he told her. He was furious with Bixlow for leaving him and Evergreen to deal with the repercussions of Laxus's death within the guild. He jumped at any opportunity to blame Bixlow for what happened on the cliff, but the depth of his resentment still astounded everyone in the proximity.

His remark seemed to shock Evergreen out of her stupor. She had spent the last week drifting around like a ghost, hardly speaking. Elfman had taken to following her around to make sure that she ate at least one meal a day. She spent most of her time staring at the wall or looking out of the window at the black trees, but now she turned her gaze toward her teammate. "Fried," she said, as though reprimanding a naughty child. "It's not his fault. Please, don't let this tear us apart."

"We're already torn apart!" Fried cried. "Laxus is gone, and it is all Bixlow's fault! He was too busy flirting with _her_ "—he gestured flippantly to Lisanna—"to respond to us when we needed his help. He knows he's guilty, and that's why he ran away like a little bitch after everything was said and done. Fuck, he let Knightwalker have Laxus's body. Doesn't that bother you at all, Evergreen? Doesn't that bother any of you?"

Evergreen put her head in her hands and started to cry. Elfman placed a big hand on her shoulder, glaring at Fried. "Watch what you're saying, man," he growled. "My sister wasn't distracting Bixlow from his duty, she was just keeping him company. The only reason he took so long to get to you was because he stopped in to warn us."

"And I'm the one who made the final call to leave," Alzack put in. "None of us liked leaving Laxus behind, but Bixlow was right; it was a lost cause. Knightwalker had his body. Going back for it would have been suicide. It would have been the end of Fairy Tail."

"I don't care," said Fried, shaking his head. "None of you were actually there, you don't know what really happened."

This outraged Lisanna. "You were unconscious!" she exclaimed. "You didn't even know what happened until you woke up! Bixlow carried your body inside. He saved your life!"

"He should have saved Laxus!" Fried retorted. "That's what we were supposed to do! Before anything else, we were supposed to save Laxus. And yes, we all failed—I was knocked out, Evergreen was injured, and we left it up to Bixlow. But he let Laxus down, he let us down, and he left after the fact. He's a good for nothing bastard, and I'm not going to look for him."

Mirajane put a hand on Lisanna's shoulder when she opened her mouth to argue with him. "Bixlow knows where we are, and he hasn't come back," she pointed out. "Everyone mourns losses in their own way, and he may need more time. We all just need time to cool off." She looked hard at Fried, and then turned to Lucy.

"Right," said the unofficial master. "Shadow Gear, let's get going."

Levy didn't even resist Lucy's commanding attitude. She got to work with Jet and Droy, each solemnly minding their positions at the gears of the transportation mechanism. Lisanna turned away from Fried and gently shook Mirajane away as the guild lifted itself off the ground. She closed herself off behind the bar in the closet were provisions were stored and covered her mouth to muffle the sobs that escaped. Lisanna hadn't thought of it, but what if Fried was right? What if she had been distracting Bixlow that night? She remembered trying to get him to tell her whatever he'd meant to say on the beach—what if that moment had been enough to save Laxus?

Lisanna wanted to go home.

She wanted Mirajane and Elfman—the real Mirajane and Elfman—to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, just like they did when their parents died in that fatal accident. She wanted to watch a sunset with her head on Natsu's shoulder. She wanted to discuss literature with Levy. She wanted to roll her eyes at Laxus's attitude. She wanted Erza on her side. She wanted to play cards with Romeo and drink with Cana. She wanted to meet Lucy, for surely there was a Lucy in Fiore she hadn't yet met. She knew it was running away from the family and friends she'd made in Edolas, she knew she would be leaving a mess behind her, but in that moment she didn't care. All she wanted was to go home.

The closet door opened and Mirajane poked her head inside. She closed it when she saw Lisanna in tears, not hesitating to wrap her arms around the trembling girl she thought was her sister. "Don't pay Fried any mind," Mira whispered in the dark, stroking Lisanna's short platinum hair. "He's just grieving. He didn't mean what he said."

Lisanna wondered if she should tell this Mirajane the truth. It would be a huge relief from her shoulders, but it would only cause her substitute siblings unnecessary pain. After all, there was no hope of Lisanna actually going home. Lisanna couldn't tell Mira half of the reason for her tears, so she just buried her head into her false sister's shoulder and cried until the tears wouldn't flow. The only person who would understand was Bixlow. And he had run away, just as she yearned to do.

She missed him more with each passing day. Fairy Tail had landed in another branch of the East Forest, nestled in a craggy little clearing that Lisanna had never seen before. Fried remained resistant to tracking Bixlow, in spite of everyone's convincing arguments. Even Evergreen couldn't persuade him. Lisanna did her best to sympathize with Fried's loss, but between all the hurtful things he'd said and her worrying about Bixlow, she found it difficult. She went up to his table every morning and placed a watered down ale next to his order without any explanation. But he knew it was there for Bixlow, and it remained untouched until Mirajane cleared the dishes in the evening before lights out.

Finally, three weeks after his initial strike, Fried grabbed Lisanna's hand as she went to set the ale down on his table. He was glaring at her, and she tried her best to remain a blank slate. Evergreen watched with interest, Elfman with apprehension.

Fried sighed and released her. "Get Levy. I'll give her his coordinates."

Lisanna broke into a smile.

Fairy Tail landed in a serene, grassy clearing surrounded by tall trees, approximately fifty miles from the place Bixlow had run away, according to Levy. When Lisanna stepped outside, she recognized it immediately. A short walk in the woods revealed the cave where Bixlow had once built her a fire and told her all he could about Edolas.

Fried and Evergreen searched the cave. They came out holding Bixlow's visor. "He tricked us," said Evergreen. "This was the only thing inside. There wasn't even a sign he camped here."

"He's got to be nearby," Fried declared, shaking his head. "I was keeping tabs on him. He had this with him the entire time. It's only been here a few days."

Lisanna realized with some petty disappointment that her ale trick hadn't convinced Fried to give Levy the coordinates. It was Fried's own concern that something had happened to Bixlow. But she supposed that was promising for their tattered relationship.

Unless, of course, his concern was warranted.

"Let's split up," Lucy Ashley suggested. "We'll search in groups of three and cover as much ground as possible before nightfall."

"Don't you think that's a little…dangerous?" Natsu squeaked.

Lucy's brown eyes sparked with indignation. "Yes, it is very dangerous. So many of us haven't left the safety of the guild at once since we were free men. But we've lost too many to this war, and I'll be damned if we lose another just because we didn't want to search for him."

"Wait," Lisanna blurted out as Lucy began to divide the guild into triplets. She had hoped to confront Bixlow alone, but she couldn't put the entire guild at risk for a whim. "I might know where he is."

"That's right," Mirajane exclaimed softly, catching on. She touched Lisanna's shoulder. "This is where we found you."

"But why would Bixlow walk all this way to come to the place he found Lisanna?" Elfman pondered. "And why would he purposefully leave his visor in this cave?"

Evergreen rolled her eyes.

"Where do you think he is?" Fried asked Lisanna.

She didn't want to say. Her baptism suddenly seemed like too intimate of an experience to share. "Just trust me," she requested. She held out her hands for the visor.

For a moment, she didn't think Fried was going to give it to her. And why would he? He was Bixlow's best friend, the one with the bone to pick, the blood brother who had failed the pact. But it was because of all this that he did hand the visor over. He knew better than Lisanna, and perhaps even better than Bixlow, how much she meant to his mute companion.

"Don't be long," he said.

"Wait!" Mirajane cried, alarmed. "Lisanna, you're not going out into the woods by yourself! Are you insane? What if you get captured again? Or worse?!"

"We can't allow it," Elfman agreed.

"It's not up to you," Lisanna pointed out. "I'm a big girl, you two. I can make my own decisions. The place I'm going isn't far, and Bixlow will be there waiting for me. He's survived an entire _month_ out in the wilderness by himself. I couldn't be in better hands."

"I don't like it," Mirajane protested. Panicky tears were filling up her blue eyes. "Please, Lisanna, please don't go alone. Take Elfman with you. Take someone with you. Anyone."

Lisanna shook her head and kissed her siblings' cheeks in turn. "I can't," she told them apologetically. If Bixlow had brought her back to the creek, they were going to discuss her past, and she couldn't risk anyone eavesdropping. Besides, it was clear to her from the visor in the cave that he wanted her to come alone.

"Be careful," Lucy Ashley advised. Then she began ushering people back inside the guild, to give the siblings some privacy. They hugged for a long moment, and without another word Lisanna stepped deeper into the forest.

It wasn't long before she heard the song of the creek. Lisanna clutched the visor to her chest as she walked along the bank, slipping occasionally on the mud. The pounding of her heart rivaled the sound of the water. As soon as she slipped out of eyeshot from her siblings she was terrified of what lurked around her, remembering the soldiers who had captured her alter ego and the bounty hunters who had mutilated Bixlow. She was nervous about what Bixlow had to say, and excited to finally bring him home. When she saw him and his tiki dolls waiting for her near a fallen tree, the thudding in her chest grew louder and quicker.

He turned to face her when she reached the tree. It struck Lisanna that she had never seen his face before—not in Edolas, and not in Fiore either. Bixlow wasn't really handsome, but the sharpness of his features had a certain striking quality that Lisanna was sure could mesmerize plenty of women. His eyes were a startling shade of green and his black hair was cropped short, only accentuating the harsh angles of his face.

"You lost this," she said, offering him the visor.

He didn't take it. "How are they? Fried and Evergreen?"

"Why don't you ask them yourself?"

"They're angry with me," Bixlow plowed on. "For leaving. I'd be angry with me, too."

"Fried is angry. He wants answers," Lisanna admitted. "Evergreen is depressed. They're both ready to forgive you, though. All three of you would do better with each other."

"Are you ready to forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," Lisanna said. "You left, but you were grieving. No one should be able to blame you for that. I experienced a similar compulsion earlier, if it makes you feel any better."

"It doesn't." Bixlow looked at her for a long time, long enough to make her uncomfortable. He had a bright intensity to his gaze that she was sure didn't belong there. If she didn't know any better, she would have called it insanity. At last, he focused on the rushing water of the creek in front of them. "This is the place I washed you off the day I found you. The exact place you were laying is just a few yards away."

Lisanna nodded. "I figured I would find you here when we found your visor in that cave. Why did you bring us all the way here to look for you? Levy said you walked a long way, and I know this spot wasn't chosen randomly."

"Do you remember what you told me, the night Laxus died?" Bixlow asked. His voice cracked slightly on the name of the man he had failed.

"I asked you if you would show me this spot," Lisanna said after some thought. "So that we could try to find some clues about how I ended up in Edolas. But what does this have to do with anything?"

"Do you still want to look for clues?"

Lisanna was dumbfounded. "Bixlow, I want you to come back," she said, once again holding out the visor for him. "No one will admit it to Fried, but we're all worried sick about you."

"You're not listening to me," Bixlow snapped with uncharacteristic impatience. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pinned her down with those glowing green eyes, his unmoving mouth molded into a frustrated frown. "Answer my question. Do you still want to look for clues?"

"Yes, eventually," Lisanna said. "But not right now. Right now, I want you to come back to Fairy Tail with me. They're all waiting for us. If we don't go soon they'll start looking for us."

Bixlow's hands slipped from her shoulders. He looked disappointed by her answer and Lisanna couldn't understand why. She tried to hand him the visor again, but his limp fingers refused to clutch it. "Bixlow, please just come home," she pleaded.

"Home?" Bixlow scoffed. "Don't call that place home, Lisanna. That isn't your home, even after almost two years of living there. After all that time, you're not happy. I can see it in your eyes every day. You want to go back to your world."

Lisanna was taken back. "Wouldn't you?" she asked, hurt.

"You don't get it," Bixlow lamented. He shook his head at her in amazement. The light in his eyes was shining brighter, two sickly suns in the thick twilight air. "I know you'll always miss home, but don't you think you've built enough of a life here? Isn't there anything that makes you want to stay?"

"Of course, part of me wants to stay!" Lisanna said. "It's a conflict I have to deal with every day I'm here! I've grown to love this guild as much as I love my family in Fiore, and sometimes it makes me feel like a traitor, I feel so guilty. But then, when we're constantly on the run and we've gone three days without any sleep and I watch the people I love dying in front of me, killed by a woman I once respected more than anyone else in the world, how do you expect me to feel, Bixlow? I want to go home! I want to run away, just like you did!"

Tears were running down her face. Bixlow looked like she had just slapped him. "I never thought it would come to this, the day I found you," he whispered. "I wanted you to stay because I missed the other Lisanna. We weren't close, not nearly as close as you and I are, but I always got the feeling that she understood me in a way others didn't. She understood the reasons I was always leaving, like you do, and she didn't hold it against me." Bixlow sighed. "At first, I genuinely wanted to help you get home. I knew you didn't belong here. But after a while, I…I just thought you'd find your niche and you'd get over it. I stopped trying to help you because I didn't want you to go.

"I'm a selfish person, Lisanna," he continued, and held up a hand when she tried to interrupt. "Even when I do things that benefit others, I'm not really thinking of them. I leave when I feel like leaving, even though I know the guild wastes time and magic looking for me. I know it makes them worry, but I do it anyway. I encouraged you to stay because I was excited about the prospect of replacing the other Lisanna. And I want to keep you here now, even if we were to find a way for you to get home, because I've come to realize you're not a replacement."

"Bixlow, I—"

"I'm in love with you, Lisanna," Bixlow finished. "That's what I was going to tell you that night on the beach. I love you."

Lisanna was speechless.

She knew it was coming, and realized she had known subconsciously for quite some time how Bixlow felt. Probably, she thought, since that night on the beach. Maybe before then. And she had been denying it for just as long, because she knew that opening her heart to a man from Edolas would be as good as giving up on finding a way back to Fiore. It was hard enough trying organize her feelings toward her substitute siblings, but if she let herself fall for Bixlow it would be impossible to leave. How many years would it take for him to propose marriage? For her to get pregnant on the run? How long would their child survive, living as a fugitive?

She knew Bixlow, and she knew that his love was not superficial. He would not take their relationship lightly. If she accepted his love, he would expect to keep her forever. Lisanna would have to let go of Fiore for good.

She couldn't do it.

Bixlow stepped forward and pressed their lips together before she could respond. It was clumsy, almost like a bump, and Lisanna wondered if this was his first kiss. He didn't open his mouth, but that didn't surprise her—his mutilated tongue had always caused him anxiety. The kiss wasn't passionate, but it was desperate. A final attempt to keep her from rejecting him.

When they broke apart, Lisanna looked up at him and gently shook her head. Her heart broke as she watched that crazed light in his eyes go out. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Me too," Bixlow replied in monotone. He took a step away from her, toward the darkness of the forest surrounding the little creek.

"Please, come back," Lisanna begged, knowing it was a useless effort. He wasn't going to come back with her. He wasn't going to come back at all.

"Tell the others goodbye for me," he said. "Tell Fried and Evergreen that I'm sorry, too, but I can't come back. You can give them whatever explanation you want."

"Here." Lisanna shoved the visor in his arms before he could refuse it. "Take this, at least. Wear it so that Fried can know you're safe. I'll make him promise not look for you. And...and if I ever change my mind, I'll know where to find you."

Bixlow looked reluctant, but he gave into her request and placed the visor on his head. He offered her a small smile. In an instant became his old, steady, benign self. "You won't change your mind," he predicted. Then without another word, he turned around and left her for the very last time.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The day was unbearably hot. There was not a cloud in the sky, and even under the cover of the trees Bixlow could still feel the sun beating down on his back. He was beginning to wonder if he should have stuck to the main road instead of taking the shortcut his last employer offered. These backwoods jobs were going to get the best of him. One day, that old witch would find his prone body in the middle of the East Forest, red and blistered from heatstroke. She would probably just leave him there, too.

But Bixlow could never bring himself to turn down these jobs. No one else liked to service the sovereign forest-dwellers who lived just outside of Magnolia Town. They were often grumpy, wrinkled misanthropes who resented their dependency on the Fairy Tail mages, but in a magically-charged environment like the East Forest, they were bound run into magic-related problems. Hauntings were a common concern, and there was no one better than Bixlow to handle an exorcism. At least, that's what everyone said when a grubby handwritten note with a complicated map on the back appeared on the request board.

Bixlow didn't mind too much. He admired people who tried to live independently of any organized civilization, and was often entertained by the gruff demeanors of the misanthropes. And even though they never paid him in currency, the goods they traded for his work were often higher quality than the service warranted. Just now, Bixlow was carrying three full jars of clear, potent moonshine in his bag.

"Water," his babies chirped. Bixlow stopped and listened carefully. Sure enough, he heard the bubbling of a creek in the distance. A quick drink and maybe a little dip would do him good. He adjusted course and headed in the direction of the noise.

Bixlow stopped when he saw the figure standing in the middle of the small creek. Her head was hanging down, watching the current flow over her bare feet and around her ankles, that short white hair hiding her pretty face. He watched her for a moment, trying to ascertain what she was doing, but when she didn't move Bixlow decided to just ask.

"Hey!" he shouted across the creek, in tandem with his babies. The barmaid's sister jumped so violently that she slipped and fell with a sad splash, her wrinkled feet flying into the air. Bixlow pressed his lips together to avoid laughing, but the babies burst into high-pitched guffaws without hesitation. Glaring at them, he rushed over to help Lisanna Strauss out of the creek.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" he asked, reaching out his hand. Lisanna was picking herself up out of the water and rubbing her eyes. Bixlow realized with sudden horror that she hadn't been standing in the middle of the creek; she'd been crying in it.

"I'm fine," she snapped, pushing his hand away. She stomped out of the water soaked from head to toe, pushing strands of wet hair from her face. She stood on the bank with her back to him.

Bixlow felt an overwhelming urge to leave. He never knew what to say to a crying girl, and in his experience anything he did say only made the crying worse. He knew that if he left now, they would both pretend like nothing had happened. It's what they both wanted.

But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Instead, he knelt down and filled up his canteen. "What're you doin' all the way out here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" Lisanna countered. She stepped forward and began to put on her shoes, still keeping her back to Bixlow.

"I asked you first."

"I don't care."

"Someone's awfully hostile today," Bixlow said. He stood up and took a drink from his canteen. "I just got back from exorcising a ghost from the house of a wrinkled old recluse, and they were both way nicer to me than you're being right now."

Lisanna's shoulders sagged in defeat. She turned and offered him an apologetic look. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just…came out here to be alone. I wasn't expecting to see anyone, least of all—," She cut herself off and turned back around to finish lacing up her shoes. Then she stood up and faced him again. "If you see my brother or sister, don't tell them you saw me, okay?" she asked. "I told them I was going on a mission in town."

"Nope," Bixlow said, crossing his arms. "I ain't in the business of lyin' to my colleagues."

"What?" Lisanna said incredulously, while the babies chirped "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" around her head. She swatted them away until they squealed and hid behind Bixlow.

"I fully believe that honesty is the number one key to creating a harmonious work environment," Bixlow continued. "Quite frankly, it's troubling that you're such a fibber. Lyin' to me, lyin' to your family…"

"I'm not – look, I just don't want them getting concerned," Lisanna huffed.

Bixlow's babies formed a seat behind him. He sat down and crossed his legs, resting his chin on his fist in rapt attention. "Shouldn't they be concerned? How do you think it makes them _feel_ when you lie to them?"

Lisanna threw her hands up in the air. "I don't have time for this. You don't get to act like a jerk and ask me serious questions about my life at the same time. You just don't get to do that, Bixlow."

Bixlow felt a pang of guilt as he watched her snatch her bag off the ground and begin to storm away. He stood up and jogged until he caught up with her. "Hey! Hey, wait up – you're right, okay? Sorry, I just don't have a lot of experience dealin' with crying ladies."

"I find that hard to believe," Lisanna snorted. "Besides, I never asked you to deal with me. I told you, I came out here to be alone."

"But why?" Bixlow asked. He held up his hand when Lisanna glared at him. "For real, this time. If you got a problem, I'm sure you can find plenty of people who can help you deal with it. A lot better than me, that's for sure."

"I don't want help dealing with it," Lisanna snapped. "You just don't understand, okay? It's not something that other people can help me deal with. I shouldn't even be talking to you about it. Look, if you really want to help me, don't tell my siblings you found me out here. That's all the help I need from you."

"Big lies start small," Bixlow told her. Then he gave a tongue-wagging grin. "Fuck, I just impressed myself. That was good, right?"

Lisanna cracked a small smile in spited of herself. "It was cliché."

"Whatever. It made you stop and think about what you're doin'." Bixlow shrugged. "But, who are we kidding? I ain't got any principles. I'll help you lie to the two people you love most in the world, if that's what you want." He pantomimed zipping his mouth shut. "Secret's safe with me."

"Guilt doesn't work on me," Lisanna said.

"Yet another lie you're makin' me peddle for you," Bixlow responded. Lisanna rolled her eyes, but he had already seen an incredible sadness there. He'd caught glimpses of it in the guild, a dim flicker of her soul in idyll moments, but he always convinced himself it was his imagination or that he'd had too much to drink. What did the barmaid's sister really have to worry about?

He planted a hand on her head, ruffling her white hair. It was still damp from her fall in the creek and it stood up in disorderly spikes between his fingers. Bixlow liked it. He tilted her head up so that she had to look at him. "You realize," he continued seriously, "that I could just make you tell me with my eyes."

"Do it, then," Lisanna said, staring him down. "You'll regret it."

"I know." Bixlow let his hand fall to his side. "But, you know, I've seen you at the guild. You're bummed about something. You're good at hiding it, don't get me wrong, but when you think no one's looking...all I'm saying is that you should talk to someone. Doesn't have to be someone you give a shit about. Doesn't even have to be human, really. Adopt a dog, or something. Just talk about whatever's eatin' you up inside. I'm telling you, I can see it. I can _literally_ see it."

"Really?" she looked panicked.

"No, not really," Bixlow scoffed. "If my eyes worked like that, I would have way better luck with women. But I mean what I said about gettin' a dog or something. I don't know what's buggin' you, and I won't ask, but I can tell you we've all been there. Or at least I've been there. You gotta talk to someone eventually. Or make someone to talk to." He jabbed a thumb at his babies, who buzzed in acknowledgement.

Lisanna looked down at the ground. She took a deep breath. "I was crying in the creek because today is the anniversary of a death," she said. "A good friend of mine. We pulled his body from that creek."

"Oh." Bixlow blinked. Honestly, he hadn't expected his speech to work, and he certainly hadn't expected Lisanna to talk to him about her problems. He turned to look at the seemingly innocuous creek. "Did he drown?"

Lisanna silently shook her head. "He was murdered. It...it happened while I was gone. In Edolas."

Bixlow didn't know what to say. What did a barmaid's sister really have to worry about? Another world she called home, another life she called her own, full of friends and family she would never see again, one way or another. Lisanna was right. It was hard to explain, impossible for him to comprehend. she couldn't talk about this. It was unspeakable.

So he grabbed her and pulled her to his chest. He felt her body start to shake with sobs, and her small hands clutching his shirt. He held her while she cried, which he'd never done for anyone else. It felt like he was holding her together. He rested his chin on her hair and let her cry until she was dry, inside and out. Slowly, her sobs began to ease and her shoulders stopped shaking. She kept her face hidden.

"Don't worry," he said after a moment, "your secret's still safe with me."

Lisanna looked up at him. Her face was puffy and red, but Bixlow thought that she was glowing a little brighter. When she smiled, it reached her eyes. "Thank you," she said.

"C'mon, I'll walk with you back to the guild. You can at least buy me a drink after all that," he replied, shooting her a large, signature grin. Lisanna hesitated and looked back at the creek. Bixlow worried for a second that she was going to stay behind.

Then she nodded and said, "Yeah, okay. Drinks on me."

The babies cheered. Bixlow's grin grew wider and he held out his arm in a genteel fashion. "M'lady," he offered. Lisanna laughed and placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. Together they walked out of the East Forest, toward Fairy Tail, toward home. And they didn't look back.


End file.
